its may! manymany birthdays are in may!! omg. i havent blogged in quite a while aye?

may 2nd is.. francesca aurora way's 19th!
goh shi hui alvina's 19th!
ang huiting's 18th!

and last night we celebrated melvin koh's 20th! more about this later.

and later, image heavy entry from my birthday! =))

firstly, congrats to all SYFC graduates 25th april 2009! people i know include TAN MW, LIM SX, NA TS, CHEN ZC. congrats alll!!! xDD

SCHOOL HAS STARTED D: !!! and, gratgrats my wifey!!! she's our class rep!! ^^ and im the assistant rep!! and ts remains as the treasurer! power trio-couple! xDD! *plays powerpuff music*

hmm.. what else from this week? monday was eventful =) just to let my jassy wifey know, we'll get through some biatches together! gambatte to us! <3 love you jassy!! xDD went to club and knew some juniors. kenny was accompanying me! thanks!! then i was going around guessing people's school. heh. until some balestier hill one then i give up! =p

tuesday we ended early.. went over to baby's and he wasnt home! and it was raining and i walked in the rain!! then he came back.. then he hungry.. ordered pizza and i went home! i didnt even get a slice. haha. actually its alright lah. im not really a fan of pizza cept that bbq or orleans flavour! ^^v

wednesday class ended at 11. hahaha. a damn funny class k. HAHAHA. i blame cheng hong, kenny, jassy.. and a bit of myself. anyways. kopi O ftw! =p=p HAHAA.

then after class they decided to watch wolverine, but i wanted to watch with baby~ and i had BD meeting at 3 anws. so oh well! went to PS and pei them [terence ts ch lloyd tt kenny] to kaikai! we had swesens 1for1 lunch! very nice!! poor kenny's 2 and half teeth and 7 stiches stopped him from properly enjoying his food, but i think we all definately enjoyed each others company! cheng hong ts lloyd and i kept playing with jassy's iphone.. the bubble wrap game. LOL. then we went to daiso and bumped into tt and her supervisor! haha. and i was like "buy me something hello kitty i wont tell the rest!" LOL.

then shopped a bit more.. then it was time for them to watch wolverine! and i went back to school for BD meeting. i was looking for my group so i called john.. and i was like "where you?" and he said "hello i wanna go toilet." and i was distracted by the lollipop booth outside the library and he didnt pick up until many rings later so everything just came in at one shot and i was like "hello? hello? where are you?" and he just kept saying "hello hello i wanna go toilet" o.o then i realised he was saying "三楼, i wanna go toilet" -.-

ok. then i went to club after meeting. slacked a bit and went home. they were gonna support SPSSC v EEE soccer.

thursday!! yesterday was super fun k! =)) anws. went to class late cos my uti is back and giving me hell. hmm. then hiro gave me some -.- thing to do. got damn pissed k.. tsk. thank you jassy for being there =)) and thanks steven for the ideas!

ok. the thing baby asked me to do is.. prove that i love him. and i cannot anyhow spend money! so yep!! here's what i did for baby!! xD

bought bubble tea.. mocha flavour! nothing sour!!!
bought cheese sausage.. cos, the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. serious!
bought...

"because i love you" HAHAHAHA. he laughed a lot when i showed it to him. good aye! xDD and he likes waterchestnut and sugarcane. so triple yay!

okay. then we went to PS to get the tickets i bought online! *clever girl! ^^* had dinner at MFM. bit too much oil.. i could just swim in it. i got burnt by the oil =( i swear baby is getting old! he asked for earl grey. heh heh. and we had fried mushrooms =))

got his mummy's tea.. glass bottle green cover! *takes note* =)) then wolverineeeeeee! hugh jackman is hot. ryan reynolds is cute with his baby eyes.. but the killer hottie is taylor kitsch as gambit!!! he makes me very happy! i dunno why.. maybe cos he's really cute. maybe cos when he comes out theres glitter. maybe cos theres this air of light purple and trinkling chimes sound. gambit is hawt!! =DD

then we headed home to put down my stuff. drove to boonkeng mrt first and as usual they were sitting at that table they always sit at in the void deck. haha. so cute. recognised jiamin koh and cynthia. yay! got people i know. =p haha.

then hiro's bro left house before us but we took cab so we reached boat quay before him! *jumps* childish i know. but i find that totally cool. LOL. had supper.. i remember a few from my table. im determined to try and remember everyone at the table. cynthia, jiamin, koh, some guy, xianda, kel, leonard and us. the other table had xmel cherrie shiyun akiyoshi kenny... omg. i make a bad taitai. =( but some funny thing when leonard called himself akileonard. i dunno. very funny. haha.

went off pretty early with xianda.. saw him almost collaspe at his lift.. then baby so pro leh. puke from 3am to 8am. but.. he's sick.. then many many shots. haha. the pub owner or some guy.. he looks like NG CT [i think now joyce wanna go that pub. LOL.] but like the more ah beng version. LOL. but cant help to worry.. i saw jiamin so worried for koh.. then i hear hiro vomit can cry pls. =( even his bro made some medicine for him and passed to me to give him. i thought sports clubs drinking was hiong. well i havent experienced crazy people. i think my DBs go with me will be damn happy pls? summore got some pricey whiskey they got for koh.. baby drank a lot and mixed various drinks!! =(

so.. here i am to say, im sorry baby. =( sorry that you had to drink on my behalf, the martell with coke, the macallen shots, and on top of that, make sure i wasnt bored or lonely. and sing nicenice songs so nicenice =)) and had to take care of me.. lucky no guy make me drink right! if not you gonna puff up like kenny to protect shiyun. haha!! also, sorry i fell asleep while you were puking, i was really really tired =(( then never hear your loud BLEARRGHHs. and sorry i take care of you half way from 7am to 8am then fell back to sleep. and when you tried to hug me i pushed you away, or when you touched me i threw your hand away or jerk my feet away. and there you were suffering and vomitting and i was sleeping. sorry i made you emo and felt like i didnt love you. but baby, i love you! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. i gave up so much for you. and i hope you love me the same way too. =) [so that means giving up smoking and gaming. heh heh.]

I LOVE YOU MATSUI TOSHIHIRO ♥ !!!!

but i think.. i wanna see my bro in law's drinking power. anyone wanna try? 72 tequila shots across the bar.. 2 people share.. loser pays =)

eh. i think tequlia for my daughter's english name.. hot leh. and its not "turkey lah" okay!

i know i claim to be alcohol sebadical.. yesterday i had half a shot of some whiskey. half a shot only k! but when im with the one i love, and everything is fine, i dont see a reason to drink to drown my sorrows =) ♥!

so yep. that was my rather lovely first half of the week with manymany of my loved friends followed by my eventful party with the towner guys. <-- insensitive guys as noticed by jiamin and me. hahahaha

baby and me @ takashimaya!

11th apr twinnies fiona lee and melswee!

me being third party. what to do! no bf no darling *pout*

alfred's fave pic. HAHAHA. victor fiona alfred melswee!

birthday babies fiona melvin melswee!

my mom and my bday house party!

with the next generation of kids =))

birthday us! ben soh and me! i blew away 1 candle first cos im 19 and he's 18. haha. 

group pic!

first i blocked ben soh.. then he decided to block everyone. -.-

dumpling staring at my boobies!! hahahah!

dumpling [i think rilvia too] jealous gary trying to hong me. HAHA.

SYFC april babies surprise party! in westmall to surprise fanghui!

group pic at west mall!

more on facebook! =))

this quote.. just popped into my head while thinking over stuffs in my head. just to share.

“If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.”

then i kinda think now.. how long are you willing to wait to see if it comes back? i kinda wish i had a little black book now.

and to add on to my random head at this hour.. songs stuck in my head and playlist =)

疼愛 - 蕭敬騰 . a nice song singing about taugey.. but like very catchy very happy. =)
当你孤单你会想起谁 - 张栋梁 . another cheery song~!
Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects . nice beat to it =)
Brand New Day - Ryan Star . gets stuck in your head super easily! very nice!
自我催眠 - 羅志祥 . my luogong's song, how to not like =)

zomg. 60% of the songs is mandrin! whats happening to me!

over these few days, starting the new school year, ending of our attachments, changes between friends, new friends and old i recall a time last year when entong said in lecture, "junhao, 你变了"

then i start to think, we all grow up over time, some change for the better, some stay status quo, some become worse.

i feel like saying to some, "_______, 你变了". some for better, which im really happy about, and some i guess for better for them in the long run, but appear to me as worse, and that hurts.

maybe thats why i choose to stay stagnant, being unsure of our futures and preferring to play safe. well i guess i can change for the better in some aspects in life, i will try hard this sem.

i feel that change is like a string of dominoes. who knows what i might hit next? i hope its something good. i hope.. things will be better from here.

ha! fat hope. hurhur hurhur

thank you for my DBF03 buddies, and for my babytoshihiro.

cos everything else in my life seems to be crashing down now.

in a totally pissy mood,
and i really dont know why.

i'm sorry.

was just playing my restaurant city and came across secretzen.com among the adverts at the side. really a cool website, but looking through the pictures made me feel more down than i already did.

*hangs self*

i cant care about anything but you~
-The Cardigans, Lovefool

jassy and i were just singing apologize yesterday. heh. i miss my wifey~ =)

25 minutes - MLTR

After some time I've finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching
everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she's crying while she's saying this

Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry you are
Twenty five minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
Wishing be back to the time when we were more than
friends

Still I see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she's cried while she's saying this

Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said

I can still hear what she said

the moment i found out,
it felt like a punch striaght into my stomach,
emptying all the air in my lungs,
a ton of bricks blasted at my face.

i know its not her,
but when the mind thinks of her,
this other her comes to mind.

flashbacks of the past,
her crying over the phone,
my hurt, my tears
all just flooded my body.
i found it hard to breathe
anger boiling beneath my skin.
the feeling i've been trying to move on from
since that fateful night in july
i was just thinking of you,
and i found out too much.

that makes it close to 1 and a half years of hurt
of doubt
of fear
of tears
of aches
gushing through the dam i took so long to build

you could have told me
you could have said sorry
instead, you acted nonchalant
acted as if i was wrong to get upset.

i might have forgiven
but i havent moved on.
i just cant..

i give up maintaining friendships.

i know, in any relationship, it must be a two way thing.
but all my life, my great friends have always put in the effort.
and im grateful for those who never gave up on me,
even though, i have let them down so many times.

today's GEMs has taught me,
friends are important. =)

but it sucks when you put in all the effort,
and all you get is shyt kicked back in your face.

i.. really admire my friends who have gone through thick and thin with me.
esp my dance meis. =)) loves.

i give up trying to make everyone like me.

hello hello~!! now being the lightbulb to ch and ts~ and just had my chicken rice!! happyhappy and full. today i ate a lot zomg. imma be fat soon!! ok. where did i stop..

LAST FRIDAY my brother had his cooking party. i should let the pictures do the talking, when i post them up. bottom line, VERY NICE!!! esp the mash pototoes! =))

LAST SATURDAY!!! happy birthday alvina fran and huiting!! ok.. i went out with hiro to cine and we caught FF4! and he said something very romantic!!! and i think it was funny cos it contrasted very much from when CH watched FF4 with TS. hehe! okay. TS is peering over my shoulder now.. and saying "aww..." i think i shall move on. hahaha!

then hiro went to meet his mom at taka and i went to meet my parents and bro at centrepoint! and had dinner =) i dont rmb wad we ate though.

sunday~ went to PS with my family and had lao beijing. nice leh. but i think their babaocha sucks.

monday went to school... i think. i dont rmb. lol.

tuesday after sch went to hiro's. and ch and ts were telling me about their FF4 experience. haha. and CH was like "what scene? where got that scene?!?!?! *gets really excited*" HAHAHAHA [TS is laughing beside me now. hahahaha]

wednesday i ponned lesson. had migraine =(( i went to bouna vista with marcus, only to get off and go home to rest. came back to school for CCA drive met rilvia and pei her and had cotton candy and popcorn and we talked about the usual SYFC stuff and JOYCE TAN MF IM DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU THAT YOU CANNOT RECOGNISE MY VOICE!!!! *emos* and financial games with TS! xDD hehe. TS and i had a lot of fun!! and she taught me how to tie hair! hehe. and we were very low risk investors. lol.

thursday.. was normal?

friday was eventful! first time having a friday school day for this sem. gems was.. -.- i hereby declare sherwin is definately mr monotone! =p and that my pronunciation sucks pls. and i think i cant ace this gems and its a damn -.-zomgidunwantocontinuethisgemspls

then went to club to slack and WEIYING CAME BACK!! *jumps* i miss her so much!! and slacked with the yr 1s and sherlim Dbytch! xDD waited for hiro to come to SP to pick me up. WAITED UNTIL 6.10 zomg~~~!!!!!! and he drove me to shangrila and we got lost but i swear i should be a GPS, cos i know how to reroute.. and... when i say "reroute" i really sound like that GPS woman. hehe.

dinner at the shangrila was the nicest buffet ever!!! prawn with pineapple puffs, beef something, and satay chunks!!!

ohya. im times of crisis.. i know who are the ones who keep the economy going. my mom's RM, sported a manicure, pretty dress and shoes, sparkling tennis bracelet, chanel bag, chanel necklace, coach bag and a new phone. *jealous*

okay. i shall contunue later. =)))))

credits to secretzen.com

he sat at the dining table, smoking a new pack of marlboro lights, on the phone. he had just had his dinner and was discussing something in fluent japanese and taking down notes. there he sat with his plain white tee, and checkered pants.

his future daughter-in-law came into the room accompanied by his son. "omg! so cool!" she whispered.

ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, my future father-in-law. heh.

hiro was so sweet yesterday leh. ok.. sweet isnt the word. but lemme tell you my yesterday!

left school at 2.. after investment tutorial. mr sim mw is cheryl teo's teacher! how cool. haha. he uses the room after mr k tai! he still rmbs me and terence! *happy* went to hiro's. and he's always tired! heh. but yesterday, he stayed up after work, sickly and weak, he cabbed to tanah to pei me on my way to school! *happy* then we had kofu breakfast!

school was amusing. especially investment tutorial. the usual lah. jassy made fun of chenghong calling him a skunk, we all made fun of terence. wakakaka.

went to hiro's and he was sleepy. poor boy fell sick!! =( i left shortly after cos dinner at home! but before that i had very nice long bean by hiro's maid!! *note to self, learn that dish!*

mummie made mash potato for me!! hehehehehehehe. very nice!!! i must learn how to make that too!!!

today.. lectures as usual. unusually few people in school today. =( misses jassy! lunch was funny. chenghong called me fat fuck. >=( grrrrr!!!! then tsui san slap him! heh *claps hands*

hmm. after school went to tanah to meet my maid cos i forgot to bring my thumbdrive out for hiro =) we all gonna play dragonica!!! YAY!!! 4 more days of the closed beta though. but nvm!! try!!

met laogong at bugis and.. he bought me flowers!! *aww* cos.. we were celebrating mothers' day and my toys are my children. =) yep. proud mother of 6 children who dont eat, shit or cry. what could be better!! heh.

then we had niceniceduckrice opposite iluma. then hiro wanted to buy sims3 for me!! omg!! touched k. but i told him dunwan. haha. the last thing i need now is a game to get hooked on! hahaha. i rmb in sec 3 i got soooo hooked onto sims2 university.. i made my sims study for their finals but there i was, playing sims 2. hahaha. but thank you laogong~!! xDD the thought meant a lot. =p

hmm. then we walked to parklane.. cos i wanted to go PS and i didnt want him to take cab.. but in the end he felt sick so we went home~ and his book of the world flags really interests me =) did you know, red and white in our flag to represent the malays of singapore? which is weird, cos red is like so chinese colour. haha. but thats what the book said.

then.. his daddy came home! i know where hiro gets his veryvery cuteness from!!! haha. i saw him hopping down the stairs. LOL. rather amusing, considering the only ones who hop down the stairs in my house is me and my maid. haha.

and he said the funniest thing to laogong! "you are, body so fat!" HAHAHAHAH. SO CUTE!!! i lovelovelove my ke ai laogong matsui toshihiro!! ♥ let's try that in chinese, 我爱我的可爱的老公松井俊皓！ SMOOOOAAARRRKKKSS!!!

hmm. then he drove me home~. i swear, his family has this affinity with white cars. this is the 3rd white car! i still prefer the feel of the interior of his mom's mazda though. very COLD, but nice. =)

song that has been stuck in my head for the whole day.. cos i watched gossip girl last night!!

random pics coming up!

some cool thing i found on google. hahaha.

credits to perez hilton =x the wrongest thing ever!

I LURRRVE MY MATSUI TOSHIHIRO! hehe.

because my baby never asked me to change myself,
has never said im too whatever,
has accepted me for everything,
moved on from our past,
loves me back. =)